Until the next time

As you may (or may not) have noticed, I haven't written in a while. From Jamaica, to coming home and realising I had to move to launching Gem Stone Love, and trying to get to grips with what is and isn't happening in my day job - I just haven't had the time.

I have been keeping up on my hair regime and I'm still making things left right and centre - most recent addition being a pomade with beeswax.

But unfortunately I'm going to have to leave blogging alone for a little while :( :( :(

I'll still be around but it will be in full Gem Stone Love capacity - you can catch me at any of the places below explaining it all like my name is Clarissa or something.

I really appreciated everyone who read and Google+ posts and I'm hoping you'll stay in touch and follow me on my new journey. This blog is staying open as there may just be room for me to return later. But until the next time...

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Hair oil change

So I decided that Cocoa Butter in hair oil is not for me. I don't know if it's the fine hair or what but my hair was just consistently fluffy for about a month, see Fluffy hair post

So I decided to take the plunge and add Rosewood to my hair oil mix. It effects my hair in a protein/ACV way so strongly that I was a little scared that it would be too much to include it in the oil - even though I included just 1 drop.

That 1 drop saved me. I could put my flexi rods in and have shiny defined curls even with my tiny tightly curled routes fighting for attention.

My relaxer is on Thursday (9 week stretch) I've been living in one lobster clasp at the back with curls exploding from the top and the front. It's working for me even if it is a little 90's. I'm turning 30 in a very short period of time so it's safe to say it will be difficult to age me from all sides anyway- heeeeyyyyy.

Hair oil mix below - if you try it let me know how it goes. I think the Avocado is helping me as well because I can put this mix straight in my damp hair and it just helps so much with the detangling.

• 15g Mango Butter
• 45g Coconut Oil
• 12ml Olive Oil
• 7ml Jojoba
• 5ml Vitamin E
• 1ml Avocado oil
• Essiantial oils -
• 1 x Rosewood
• 3 x Rosemary
• 2 x Calendula
• 3 x Lavender
• 1 x Frankincense

Fluffy hair

As with all knowings in life, your hair will whisper to you, then it will nudge you, then it will hold you by the face and shout at you.

So I've been busy, thus the radio silence, I really hadn't realised it had been so long since I'd written.

I haven't worn my hair straight down since maybe November time, due to our delightfully ever-changing weather, it's just 2 flat twists, and undo it and put a grip in it in the morning. I'm 7 weeks post now so it is more like 3 big canerows and undo it with a grip in the morning.

But the fluffiness! In my busy-ness I just couldn't get why even though my hair was well moisturised and oiled, it still came out fluffy in the morning making the curls look very undefined and undignified too while I'm at it. I know how I wish to present myself and quite frankly I left the flat looking frazzled in the morning.

So you know, if you've done moisture and there's no change then do protein - I did protein spray's and... nothing, or very little movement. It took maybe 2 weeks for me to realise I hadn't done a deep protein treatment - which with the Jason thin to thick on my hair is about 10 minutes MAXIMUM.

So I mixed it in with my Jason Aloe Vera conditioner in my co-wash this week after netball, and that really did the trick. But why did it take me so long to realise what was up with my hair?

Because I was busy, and getting lost in busy-ness not to be confused with business. When I stray from my routine, when I get wrapped up in social media and news because of the election. My mind loses it's usual ability to process the simple things.

The routine that I have that works isn't even that hardcore regimented, there's lots of room for flexibility but as with all aspects of life, you have to acknowledge the addictions you have and how much control they have over you, even down to the basic things like taking care of your hair. It may not seem like a straight swap "If I watch another hour of tv I won't do my hair tonight" but seriously I know this and I'm re-teaching myself everyday. Too much of some of the unnecessary stuff just teaches your mind how to not think. Eventually you just won't think about you at all.

Shampoo-less regime

About a month ago or so, I over moisturised my hair. I thought I'd use that mess up as a good excuse to try the shampoo-less regime so as to lesson the amount of water interaction my hair had.

This is where you only wash your hair with conditioner either 100% of your wash days or most of them. My usual regime was, shampoo and deep con on a sunday (with a oil prepoo in the second half of my stretch), and a co wash on a Wednesday. I changed this to full shampoo and deep con every 2 weeks, and the rest of the time just conditioner.

In summary - it didn't work out for me. It might just be because I've got fine hair or that it's relaxed, but it just wasn't having it.

It's definitely quicker, and at first  your hair definitely doesn't feel like it needs a day to bounce back after the wash, but over the weeks it does build up - even with the shampoo every two weeks.

I also use natural shampoo and conditioner so that may have played a part in why it all built up on me. I just wasn't expecting it as I rarely put silicone in my hair and if I do it's neat so I can see the exact amount.

But, on Saturday, having done this for about 5 weeks, my hair just wasn't playing ball. I put the leave in in which is primarily water, and it just couldn't get to the strands. So yes, my hair had build up and yet my scalp was so dry, every day I felt like I had to put more and more water on.

Really pleased I did it though, as at least I know I can go without shampoo for a week if I needed to.

I have now at this late stage in my life, made a firm decision to use one set of shampoo and conditioner at the beginning of the stretch and a different one at the end. I for some really weird reason, was only using that second set when my hair became too tough to handle, rather than using it as prevention so that it wouldn't become too difficult to handle. Perspective and hindsight.

Beginning of the stretch shampoo and conditioner

Ending 4 weeks of the stretch shampoo and conditioner - Rosemary

The gripped ponytail - handle with care

I used to live in ponytails. Back in the day when I was still very unconfident about my hair, and had no idea how to style or take care of it. Everyone either had longer looser curled hair that was much easier to just fling in one, or wore weaves, so I didn't have much variety to get ideas from.

So when it came to any kind of 'going out out' the decision for how to do my hair was "which ponytail to put on?" Not how do I style it. I had quite a range, and I always wore them well. I wore them well, my hair line did not. My hair line was not a fan of ponytails. The ends of my hair that I put in a strangle hold hair band was not a fan of the ponytails.

I could get quite obviously why my hair line suffered. But I didn't know what to do about the ends of my hair - I was young and not nearly as well read on the subject as I am now. The ends of my hair suffered because I was tucking them in after the forth tie around. I also didn't realise the importance of making sure the hair I was putting under stress - where the band met the hair, should be even more cared for. Because it wasn't seen, I didn't think I needed to do anything with it.

Yesterday I went to an amazing fancy dress party as Uhura from Star Trek. I have exactly 1 ponytail in my possession that I've only worn 3 times in 3 years, 2 of those at fancy dress (first one was catwoman - I looked fantastic and it had nothing to do with the hair...).

This time though, I have learnt, thoroughly what I'm supposed to be doing when I use a ponytail. I made sure to soften up and massage my scalp all over, paying particular attention to my temples. I dampened my whole head with my leave in conditioner, not dripping, but enough for you to feel it. Then I worked on the banded area, re moisturising that section and my natural ponytail to the end. I added just a spray of protein, and sealed my whole head of hair. Adding a little extra oil to the banded area and ends. I also put oil on the hair band for good measure.

I left the ends out, rather than tucking them in and put my gripped pony tail on as usual. When I took it off last night (this morning) I quickly loosened the band, and added a touch more water and oil to the banded area, ends and temple (with a quick massage to the temple as I could feel the pull even though I was careful). Then wrapped my head and somehow managed to sleep while the younger ones were still enjoying drunken karaoke in the living room.

This morning, a touch more water and oil to the hair in general and my hair is fine. Once upon a time, my hair after a ponytail night felt like straw. Not any more.

Over moisturising

It is possible to over moisturise black hair. I've done it before and like a fool I did it again.

About 2 weeks ago my hair was perfectly protein and moisture balanced, had I paid attention to this I would have taken note and realised that I should have used a little moisturising conditioner and a little protein conditioner as I don't have any premixes.

I didn't and it left my hair feeling gummy and was way over-stretchy. It's ok now though, due to a adding protein, every night and really taking time with my hair - I got over it without too much breakage.

And now I can do the baggying again - why do I love this so much? It's nuts but it works, putting that moisture on and sealing it in to steam with my shower cap works wonders for making my hair soft. Then I put the protein in right before I seal.

In fact when my hair was balanced a few weeks ago, I left the baggy on with a durag to slow air dry it. Usually I put a bit of oil on the ends to stop frizzing but I just didn't need to at all. Will have to remember that.

Here's to the shower cap!

Grey Hair

Apparently no one knows why we get grey hair or more accurately, why we stop producing the melanin that gives hair it's colour.

The old wives tale of it being related to stress has yet to be proven. I can fully believe however that a stressed individual will possibly be exhibiting behaviours that aren't conducive to 'normal' hair growth like not eating well, smoking etc. But the idea that it's a direct link still is a bit far for me. Primarily because I have grey hair.

I've counted a grand total of 5 'white' hairs. One really long mama, one about an inch, and the rest are in my temple hair. All of which are in the same front left quadrant of my head. Friends can't see anything from the back. When I first told my niece (same age as me) that I had them about a year ago just casually in conversation, she was stunned and thought I must be super stressed. I'm not, and I wasn't. If my hair colour was directly related to my stress levels I would have had a full head of white hair when I was 21.

Biologically, my fathers side all had grey hair in a front quadrant from what I imagine was a relatively young age, 40 ish. My issue is, when should we actually expect to get grey hair? Does anyone even no anymore? I had a couple of grey hairs coming and going since I was about 16. I've never dyed my hair, but a lot of young girls do obviously. Could more people be getting grey hair in their 20's and we just don't know because we artificially change our hair in one way or another all the time?

There was a lady on the train with her son yesterday, she must have been 37 at a high push. She had a good inch of grey roots showing against dyed brown hair. And I thought, lets just say she's a normal every day person who is relatively healthy, if she really has gone fully grey, are most people grey? Or at least is it much more common at a much earlier age than we actually know?

As far as I know it doesn't seem to be a problem for men, they look distinguished as they get older. I don't know what men think of women with grey hair, surely if your face and your general mannerisms still reflect your age (or the age you feel), how much of a big deal is it? And also how you wear your hair as well. My white hairs are still good quality hairs so my hair styles still rock, is it that some people's grey hair loses it's manageability or is it that people give up caring for their hair in the same way once it goes grey? thus then making you old (the rusty dusty kind not my granny still looks amazing in her church dress and wig kind).

I have a lot of questions as you can tell. I don't know if I'll ever get answers for them. I've never been drawn to dying my hair and it doesn't entice me now, always a possibility that could change in the future but I like to think it won't, mostly because I don't know if my fine hair can take a relaxer as well as hair dye.

Also it isn't lost on me that age and aging keeps popping in my head with my milestone birthday coming up. I like to think as long as people keep getting my age wrong in both directions, I'm probably doing ok.

DIY Hair oil

Probably the concoction I'm most proud of making. It kind of developed over time.
I started using Coconut oil as my sealer after reading all of the hype about it. Understandable hype as it turns out.

I, being the impatient person I was / am didn't wait the whole 10 seconds for the oil to melt in my hands before applying it to my hair, which meant I nearly always put too much or too little in, or rubbed the oil into my hair forcefully like a grizzly bear scratching it's back against a tree.

So I made a mixture with jojoba oil, then with jojoba and vitamin e, then with avocado, the list goes on. Eventually, when I started experimenting with body cream, I got my hands on some mango butter which is weirdly dry. When I mixed that into the sealer I knew I got it right. One of my biggest aims was that my hair still feel touchable, I have never been a fan of the greasy head feeling, especially as I have fine hair so too much just weighs me down. The mango butter took the worry out of it.

As time went by I found the right balance, I still experiment with the liquid oils and essential oil amounts and choices. But the core elements of Mango Butter, Coconut oil and Vitamin E have stayed the same.

Ingredients

• 15g Mango Butter
• 45g Coconut oil
• 5g Vitamin E
• 12g Olive oil
• 7g Jojoba oil
• 1g Cocoa butter - first time using this in the sealer, was Lanolin
• 3 x Rosemary EO
• 2 x Calendula
• 3 x Lavender
• 2 x Vetiver
• Whisk, tissue, baby wipes, pyrex

Put everything except the jojoba and essential oils in the pyrex and double boiler, heat and stir until the mango butter is completely melted. Wait for it to cool until it is murky like Vaseline.

Whisk and use the spatula to get any oil from the bottom. Add the essential oils until you get a nice smooth mix. It lasts me about 6 weeks or so.

Second Diy relaxer

Not going to lie to you, I was not paying my hair the proper attention I should have been. Don't worry nothing went wrong but I did experience more breakage than acceptable. Simply because in my efforts to not touch my hair 24 hours before a relaxer due to it's fragility and general curliness, I didn't give it the moisture and oil it needed. So my hair was dry going in, and needed a lot of water love to get back to normal. I basically got scared to touch my hair rather than redouble my efforts to make heal it.

It feels fine and looks quite stunning actually, I have a lot of natural shine and I didn't use any Cyclomethicone either.

I left on for a little longer this time to ensure I relaxed to at least 90%, that's good enough for me.
Also made use of an Apple cider vinegar rinse and will be doing so again at my next wash (co wash) which will either be tomorrow or Wednesday. It depends how dry my hair and scalp feels but at this point, I imagine it will be left to Wednesday though as everything feels pretty ok today.

I am however getting frustrated at protective styles. I feel like single twists would be easier for my hair with a quick touch up in the morning, but I read that flat twists or big canerows are better because all the ends are hidden. I think rather than being religious about it I'll just have to listen to my hair at the time. I can't even see the evidence of new growth yet but that will show itself in time.

My next relaxer will be about a week before I go on holiday in July. Hopefully I will have learned even more about my hair. I'm still getting through the science of black hair book and am relearning a lot of things, have changed my hair oil (sealer mix) slightly as a result.

Need to remember though, my hair does not like being untouched, it sounds counter intuitive but it behaves like a child that needs to be picked up all the time. When I haven't run my hands through it twice a day it doesn't behave well, it's only marginally better at the beginning of the relaxer stretch. One of the primary reasons why consistent smaller canerows or weaves won't be in harmony with my hair.

Leave in conditioner - Peppermint oil, I love you long time

Sometimes I forget how much things used to cost me before I started making them.

The other day I got lazy-annoyed about having to make more body lotion, so I thought I'll just buy a natural lotion. To which I then looked online and saw the prices and then my memory came back - but that's another conversation, I'll be making more lotion in a few weeks time so I'll talk about that then.

The same does apply for my leave in conditioner though, I have fine hair, I have never been a fan of the thick leave ins that you're supposed to put in your hair every day, they just made my hair look limp.

Through a lot of experimentation - and I'm sure it says something about it in the Science of Black Hair book. I then came across this lovely beauty which I have been using in good and bad ways for years but I believe I have now got it right.

My leave in conditioner uses these

• Water
• Rosemary, Lavender, Peppermint Essential oil
• Glycerin
• JASON Aloe Vera conditioner
• Spray bottle with adjustable nozzle

I typically use about a tsp of JASON, 250ml water, small dollop of Glycerin, 3 Rosemary, 2 Lavender, 3 Peppermint. I make a new one every 2 weeks and sometimes add an extra drop or 2 of EO after the first week. I can use this every day/ night followed by some protein when needed and sealer. The trick is to learning the amount you need to use. Some people like to co-wash every night, I don't have time for that - enough water, is enough.

In my *not paying attention* days I used to assume that the preservatives in the conditioner would keep the water from going bad for weeks - months - my full 9 week term. This was disgusting, I know that now, it was the reason why I had an itchy scalp, actively putting bacteria on my head and wondering why... Now 2 weeks is just enough, and I can always switch it up at anytime without it really costing me anything, the most expensive thing in it is the Conditioner and I can live with that, I'm a geek (and proud) I worked out that this costs me roughly 43p a month.

Once I corrected the above, I experimented again with different EO's, to be honest Sandalwood and my hair/scalp don't mix, I have no idea why because it's supposed to be moisturising but, it makes my hair feel dry. And even though every mix I did included Rosemary, my scalp really missed the Peppermint. I stopped using the peppermint because everyone everywhere says you should use that for greasy hair, and mine isn't greasy. But you know what, I think it helps to balance out the oils in my hair. Especially as my sealer is a mixture of oils and butters, that's the last ingredient that means I or anyone else can touch my hair and not need to wash their hands afterward (that and Mango butter). That's very important to me.

I do need to get a spray bottle that I can see through though, I don't know why I thought it was clever to get a pretty metal one. smh

Happy Easter Sunday :)

Baggying for moisture

Baggying is something that I have seen on many a blog for years now, and yet for some reason I just never paid any attention to it. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure when it would be appropriate to do it. As with most new fantastic products, they're probably great but if you use it at the wrong time, when your hair isn't ready, then you're not going to get the right results.

Baggying is when you put a shower cap or sealed plastic bag over your freshly moisturised but unsealed hair in order to keep the moisture in. I think it goes a little deeper than that actually, or at least for me any way.

I used to use mane n tail detangler religiously. At first I used to put way too much on because I was impatient, I eventually realised by accident (distracting phone call) that when you put it on and leave it to work - not immediately trying to comb or finger comb your hair - then the hair is actually much more agreeable, I didn't have to fight with it nearly as much and didn't have to use as much detangler.

The same applies to my standard leave in (water and conditioner mix in spray bottle with essential oils). My night process was to spray some the hair and scalp - I don't oil my scalp - and then finger comb, apply hair oil sealer and style for bed. This works fine at the beginning of my stretch, I don't need as much leave in or sealer. But at the end of the stretch, it just doesn't work, leaving me frustrated and running my hands through my hair too quickly, pulling out hair's from the fragile demarcation line. So I end up using more and more leave in, leaving me with wet hair, and then it's so wet you feel like it needs to dry a little before putting the oil on. As a night time routine, this gets really annoying as my hair is at this stage for about a month.

With baggying however I've found that giving my roots, scalp, and ends a nice light spray when I come home in the evening, putting the shower cap on while I cook, read, meditate; by the time it's time for my night time routine, you can feel the moisture is on the inside of the hair rather than just sitting on the outside. My tight and rough roots are flexible without feeling weak like that over moisturised feeling.

I don't have a lot of time in the evenings as I work pretty far away from home so the shower cap is only on for just under 2 hours. Even when I had a couple of evenings out this week, I still got the benefit from only keeping it on for 30 minutes while I showered and got ready for bed.
I am also using a small amount of protein every other night though - during the sealing process, I believe that keeps the balance.

Some people manage to baggy overnight, I have no idea how, after the 90 minute mark my scalp screams give me air! But if it works then it works, it's probably a little different if you have a lot of natural hair. I've also seen some worries that it would cause the hair to smell, I haven't had experience of that personally, smell as far as I know is caused by bacteria, the essential oils in my leave in and sealer put a stop to that pretty darn quick.

I'm really looking forward to seeing the growth in a couple of weeks when I relax again. I haven't worn my hair down once since February, but my friend had commented that it looked like it had grown. It probably just looked healthier / thicker as result of all the new growth and moisture that's in side the hair, but I do believe/hope that I have retained more hair this stretch. I won't be trimming again until the early Autumn. I went from 1 trim a year to 2 trims for the past 2 years and I really think that's part of the reason why I haven't seen much improvement, about an inch left me each time. I hardly ever have split ends but my hair does grow at different speeds all over my head so that would be the reason why it was levelled out quite so severely.

Pretty big breakthrough for me, it might have seemed obvious but sometimes you have to learn for yourself.

5 weeks post

I'm 5 week post relaxer now. I do believe I have sped up the growth process with Rosemary oil. It's the reason why this week has been so hard.

My hair was drinking water like as if it's life depended on it. I think I just got caught out with the warmer weather and strength of the curl.

I did remember that I had a rescue conditioner - Conceived by Nature. Who don't seem to make much but the one bottle I have tried I am always so very thankful for. I use this roughly this time every stretch, I don't know why I completely forgot it was their until I was about to put my normal conditioner in.

Before I remembered I had it I was just going to add some oil and Calendula EO to my Green people Conditioner, I think I'll do that next time. I'm really trying to treat the 2 different versions of my hair differently, (fresh relaxed vs curly at the roots, straight in the middle frizzy at the ends petulant hair). It's the frizzy at the ends part that annoys me the most, because it's not split ends, they're just dry. I just let my hair get much too dry for whatever reason.

I'm going to give baggying a try, I'm currently doing a bit of the reverse by putting a loose satin du-rag on with a shower cap on top. I'm drying my hair but not too much. In a little while I'll take the shower cap off and leave the slightly thick satin du-rag on before I start my nightly routine. Then I'll think I'll just baggy it in the evenings while I'm reading/eating etc. Especially during this end of stretch part. I probably won't need to do it often at the beginning of my stretch.

I do think I'll have to re purchase some Avocado oil and try using that as a detangler as it's quite a dry oil but very penetrating. I put the oil that I used as my pre poo on the ends before air drying, I'm hoping that together with the baggying and that amazing conditioner will get it back to normal. Plus maybe a quick spray or 2 of protein before sealing as well.

Thin to Thick - Hey JASON...

I have found that some conditioners that are supposed to provide protein are really just light touch detanglers. JASON Thin to Thick is not one of those.

I wanted to give myself a few days after doing a co-wash with it before writing. At first I felt like it just made my new growth soft and that was nice but nothing to write home about. As the days went on though, my usually fine hair just felt fat for want of a better word. It felt like I had about double the amount of hair on my head.

By the 4th day I realise that actually my hair now needs significantly more moisture than it usually does. That's on me rather than JASON, where I thought it may just be a light tough protein conditioner I used it when my hair only needed a top up of protein. This is much more like a reconstructor.

I am pleased with it, but I think the next time I use it I'll have to follow it up with a moisturising conditioner for balance, or alternatively add a couple of drops of Calendula essential oil when applying. Calendula is seriously moisturising - I only use it when I'm in real need like when I've had a bad cold for a week and haven't been able to wash my hair. Over moisturising can be as bad if not worse than over loading hair with protein.

I only got the Conditioner but they also do a Shampoo, a Scalp Elixir, and a Volume Spray. Using this really reminded me about timing with hair. I'm much better at listening to my hair now but maybe I was a bit too eager to use my new sparkling product. I'll do better.

This weekend I'll do another hot oil scalp massage before my deep condition. My hair is getting rally curly now so I really need to spend more time detangling gently, it's so easy at night to just want  to get through it, put on my head tie and get on with my meditation.

Rosewood oil - my secret weapon?

Rosewood Essential Oil!

I don't know why this works but it does. As I've been making my cosmetics over the past 2 years or so, I've steadily been stocking up on my essential oils. I think I may have about 20 or so at the moment, I'll write about them all at some point I'm sure.

As I'm naturally curious, I've been adding a drop or 2 to my shampoo or conditioner (after doing my research) to see what it would add to my hair. Some of my favourites for wash day are:

1. Rosewood (obviously)
2. Rosemary - used most frequently
3. Lavender - go to fix all if I don't know what I need
4. Cedarwood - for those itchy / painful scalp days
5. Calendula - by far the easiest way to make your hair drink water fast

Now my Lady Rosewood is a tricky tricky EO. Mostly because I can't find anywhere on the internet that says it does what it does to my hair. I did however find a few mentions of it being endangered and to use Ho Wood oil as a replacement, but all of those articles are from several years ago, and when I bought it, it wasn't that expensive, so I'm hoping I haven't hurt a tree somewhere.

The best I can find is that it's an Astringent so if I work that out in my head, that means it will flatten the cuticles. So I can say, I use Rosewood oil to straighten and strengthen my hair. At 3 weeks post relaxer that was only 75% done in the first place and an awful lot of massaging rosemary oil into my scalp, I had a lot more curl than I was used to, so I thought it's time to put some Rosewood in because I remembered the first and only time I used it, I got a lot of shine and it just felt strong. So here I went again.

It was my co wash day so I put 2 drops in my hand with my JASON Aloe Vera and worked it through, by the time I finished I thought I could feel the hair was straighter but it was just me. I put a grip in it and showered, then rinsed it out with luke warm water. It was probably only sitting in for about 2 minutes. Let me tell you, my hair as I was finger combing it, maybe 2 were left on my hands. Audrey Davis-Sivasothy says that healthy hair will only have about 20 broken strands a day (I think it's a day). These days I'm about 10 in the morning and 15-20 at night which I can tell you is so much better than I was back in the day, when I was brushing my hair and cleaning countless strands out of it.

The ends were so straight and strong that they barely held a curl that first night, which I know sounds counterintuitive but the initial electric shock style hair wears off. As the days went by it was much easier to style, the texlaxed curls and new growth were now just waves. This stayed this way through to Sunday when I washed and deep conditioned it. And I forgot to take a picture before I did - sorry - but I will do next time.

So even now as I'm air drying my hair, the roots are only slightly puffier than they ought to be at this point. I don't even want to put Lady Rosewood into my hair oil or leave in conditioner for fear that my hair gets to used to it.

I did a lovely new scalp massage today which I will write up later, and just added 2 drops of Cedarwood to my conditioner. If anyone ANYONE else has used Rosewood, please let me know how it worked out for you.

Until next time.

Detangling - without distressing my tresses

Cyclomethicone is a silicone found in a lot of leave in conditioners. If you haven't seen it listed then you've definitely seen Dimethicone. Dimethicone is the one that you need a SLS shampoo to wash out as it builds up on the hair. Cyclomethicone on the other hand is a little more friendly, it can evaporate and is easily washed out with co-wash.

I have a bottle of Cyclomethicone because I use it when making lotions, it adds a really good silky feeling without leaving your skin feeling oily. So of course, knowing that worked, I tried putting it in my leave in conditioner (JASON mixed with water and essential oils). The first few times I put too much in and my hair just wasn't liking it. It felt consistently dehydrated.

Then I made a dry oil body spray using oil and Cyclo, so I thought a touch on the hair might work to detangle - no, no it doesn't.

It was only on Sunday after I washed my hair and realised that my hair is now needing assistance in detangling again, (is it growing faster is it just me? I have been religiously adding Rosemary oil to conditioner...) I thought maybe if I just put a couple of drops on my hands and in between my fingers and run it through my hair as it's air drying, that might work. And I think it did, detangling was very easy, so much so I think I used too much Cyclo even then. I had used 3 drops, next time 2 will do for my whole head, as the next morning I had to add more moisture.

I like this. Where I had been on an all natural products kick for years, I did miss that slick feel. But also and weirdly, I used my ElastaQP shampoo for relaxed hair and moisturising conditioner, they used to be my staple before Green People; I realised I had some conditioner left so thought I'd just use those and my hair was not happy at all. It felt really coated and sickly for want of a better word. Clearly either my hair or my fingers got used to the Green People set pretty damn quickly.

Anyway, I'm glad I got the Clyclomethicone game right, if my hair is growing at the speed I think / hope it is now that I'm taking care of it, I'm going to need it. I'm also going to need to become friends with adding a little extra Jojoba oil when styling in the morning, the hair isn't dry but I do know I should be adding extra oil on places that pulled in any way like with a hair band.


Little by little

Protective styles - making it work for me

A minute on protective styles.
I was supposed to write about Hair oil next but I'm not really feeling it. - The topic not the oil, the oil is fabulous.

I am now learning to embrace protective styles. And I have to get a bit deep and explain why it took me so long.

I relax my hair because I like variety, there are numerous hairstyles that suit my rather strong featured face that I can do with relaxed hair. I can and did canerow my own hair for several years but I found it tiresome and really uninspiring. Also my hair wasn't very long then so that also didn't give me much room for manoeuvre unless I added hair extensions.

I understood the need for protective styles after reading The Science of Black hereafter known as(TSoB). I introduced some styles where I could but I mostly struggled because I didn't feel like I looked pretty if I didn't wear my hair down be it straight or with the use of god given flexi-rods. There I've said it out loud. I felt like I looked like a child with big canerows going to church. It didn't feel effeminate to me whatsoever. Because I'm not a big makeup wearer I felt my whole face just looked plain and invisible if I didn't have my hair to add some razamataz to it.

But now several years on and oh so many expletives towards low self esteem later, that's how I've mostly been wearing my hair since the beginning of this year. I stretch for 9 weeks and during the winter when the weather is frightful, there's not really much point in attempting to wear your hear out. But as I have restarted my journey I thought it best to really look at what I was doing again, and see if I should be doing something differently or regiment it a bit more.

Towards the end of my stretch I became very good friends with the 2 large canerows. Alternated parting on the right and left every week just in case I was pulling to hard at the temple hair. I did feel like I pulled on the hair way too much but with a lot of new growth and that weird end texture your previously relaxed hair gets when it knows it's time to re do it; I just needed to make sure everything was in place. All in all I think I'll give myself an A for effort but not for out come, the style looked good but I needed to prepare my hair MUCH more before I handled it so much. And I canerowed it fresh every morning and lightly at night.

But now with my fairly fresh hair, it's all about the flat twists. I started off doing the single twists because the texture it gives me hair really works for me and makes a simple grip at the back style effortless whilst still looking like I put effort in. But as I am useless at pinning curls on a second or third day, I had to redo all of those single twists every night, which is rather more handling than I should probably do on my fine hair. I'm not sure if flat twists are actually less handling or not but their certainly quicker. Another bonus is that with the twists, I have the choice to do them tight or puffy, very weirdly for me I'm rather enjoying the puffy, they're about an inch up off my head (that's a lot for me) and that extra length / depth / direction works with my strong jaw line. Although I did realise I needed a new set of go to everyday earrings to work with my wearing my hair up nearly all the time. I have ordered them today and I'm a little in love.

I think after all this it's about finding what works for you. I felt so pressured to do what every one else was doing that I never really gave myself a chance to enjoy my hair and my hair type for that matter with my hair length on my head crowning my lovely face.

I'm going to start enjoying my hair again, and I do expect great things from it. Just changing my product line up like I did years ago had nearly an immediate effect. Now I'm not saying I expect to have waist length hair by Christmas; but I will be expecting length that's healthy because I darn well worked for it.😍

The first wash after relaxer

And... I still have hair. So I used JASON aloe vera conditioner to do my mid week co wash. Where I'm still not used to not having the bone straight feeling, my hair felt a little weird before the water hit it, slightly wavy and a tiny bit frizzy at the back. But the water just sorted everything right out. I added 1 drop of Rosemary essential oil to the conditioner as usually about 10 days after a relaxer I have a terribly dry flaky scalp that I need to condition several times to get rid of the dead skin. I didn't actually have a dry scalp but I thought it doesn't hurt to pump up the conditioner a bit.

Towel dried the hair, no need for the diy leave in spray as it's already moisturised. Put my hair oil in finger combed and did 2 long twist rows. The hair feels fuller I can't tell if the rosemary was necessary or not but I feel better for adding it rather than leaving it out.

This is how good I was feeling.

It's pretty weird weather in London at the moment, with all the various storms and annoyingly windy weather. I did catch up with my natural headed friends yesterday though and thought well if they can do it - and look good while doing it, I need to man up a tad.

As I write this it's Sunday and I'm sitting with the conditioner in for a while. I had to do a pre poo with a olive and sunflower oil as I was out late last night and neglected to sort out my hair before bed. I know better why don't I do better? Currently using Green People Moisturising shampoo and conditioner. I think it will be a week of hats to work again and twisting it up in a grip at the back. As protective styles go it's easy and still looks good so I'll keep going with that.

Going to start reading the Science of Black Hair by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy again. A fantastic book that taught me pretty much everything I know and started me on my natural products journey many years ago.

Now off to do a cool rinse and finger comb (yawn).

Next post will be about my much loved DIY hair oil.

Late off the mark - Relaxing my own hair

It was at our dinner before going to see Hidden Figures, that it dawned on me. Or rather was obviously stated to me. I had a really busy week of client meetings and I wasn't quite sure how I was going to make it to the hairdressers. I stretch for 9 weeks and at this point I was at 8 weeks - just on the fringe of madness. I told my friend this and she replied shocked "I'm surprised you don't relax it yourself" I said "I'm just lazy I suppose". That was my instant reply but it wasn't actually true, I just had never thought about it. I've been mixing my own leave in conditioner and making from scratch my own hair oil for just over 3 years - and had never not once thought "shouldn't I just relax it myself?"

So last Thursday I did just that, I made the trip to the hair shop and the chemist to by Crème of Nature Argan Oil Relaxer - Regular, and a box of non powder latex gloves. As I was working from home that day, I took my hair out of it's 1 remaining hair do at about 3pm (1 big sweeping canerow on the right and combed down on the left, small neat bun at the back.) I got started as soon as the clock struck 5:30. And then...

1. I combed out the hair - I had to, my hair is 4B tight corkscrew curls and it's fine.
2. Applied Cantu Shea Leave in Repair Cream to my scalp - I bought a fresh tub right before my natural hair care kick started
3. Parted hair in 4 with the grips and the protected the pre relaxed hair with Extra Virgin Olive Oil
4. Applied some Vaseline all the way around my hair line
5. Set to working the relaxer
6. I did go over it again with the smoothing step
7. Relaxer from first application to wash out was 35 minutes - SHOCK HORROR. My hair doesn't take quickly, never has, also because I oil my scalp it gets on the new growth and slows everything right down.
8. I rinsed twice in luke warm water only
9. Put a protein treatment in for 10 minutes (can't remember which one and I threw the bottle away because it was finished)
10. Shampoo'd with the neutraliser twice, then on the third time let it sit on the hair for about 5 minutes
11. Rinsed the shampoo out and then did a Apple Cider Vinegar rinse - only a slight sting
12. Put the conditioner that came in the box in
13. Put my heated cap on for about 45 minutes - turns out I didn't need it on for that long, 30 will do
14. Made and ate my dinner

My scalp didn't burn, I have no sores, and in fact I could / should have left it in for another 5 minutes because I didn't apply it fast enough, one corner of my hard is marginally underdone. I'd say it's mostly relaxed to 85% rather than the squeaky bone straight that my hairdresser does. I liked bone straight, I thought that was how it was supposed to feel. I thought it was normal that it would take 2 weeks after my relaxer for my hair to feel like my hair again. I don't know if that's true now.

I t-shirt dried my hair, put some Chi protein leave in on it and put my diy hair oil on, wrapped my hair with a satin scarf (with a cotton scarf on top of that - it's cold and my hair doesn't always dry itself by the morning if I don't) and went to bed.

In the morning I was very pleasantly surprised, my hair felt... good. It never felt good after a relaxer. Straight yes, slick yes, shiny sometimes. But not good, it always felt delicate both hair and scalp.

Nearly a week on I haven't washed it yet - I usually wash and treat on Sunday and co wash after Netball on Wednesday. And after a relaxer which is usually mid week, I actively want to co wash with a treatment on the Sunday. I decided to leave it this time as I didn't really have an urge to, the hair felt fine, and it was only my ingredients in it so there was no build up.

So this is the beginning of this journey, I will be relaxing myself again, as the feeling of my hair is very reminiscent of when I first switched to natural products, just that good solid (for hair anyway) feeling. I'll be co washing it with JASON Aloe Vera conditioner tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Introduction

Having undergone a dramatic "only natural products kick" 3 years ago, I think I've now gotten to the point where my hair is really decently healthy. It has grown during that time but mostly the last 3 years have been a process of growing out the really bad hair. Now it's time for the real journey.

I've been looking at blog's on and off and doing lots of my own study, but recently hair care / growth has not been a priority. I don't think I gave up as such, it was just a lonely place really especially as very few people I know are as into hair as I am, much less diy hair, and then the much much less to non existent - not a weave / wig wearer.

Just to make the point up front, I have nothing against wig's or weaves. Most of them look absolutely stunning, and then there's the obvious fact that tucking your hair away in those long winter months will really help. I just don't like them on myself. I used to wear a lot of clip in ponytails back in the day, which then of course ate at my hair line something horrid. But I just can't get over the idea of A, not being able to feel my own hair everyday or B, wearing a wig knowing that if the wind blows I'll be at best self conscious.

So what's a girl to do? This year was the only of the 3 years that I didn't see the noticeable hair growth I was expecting on after trim day (Christmas time - once a year because of an unintellectual phobia). Now in February I realised that that part of the journey was over, and actually yes, this length is nice and manageable (framing the face) but actually, I want long hair, I've always wanted long hair. Not crazy long just a decent bra strap length.

But how do I do it? Who do I talk to about it?

I again looked on line and found a few blogs or chat rooms last updated in 2008, all American so using primarily American products and - things are different in different weather. I have a good hair dresser who is a good friend but she is much more fond of weaves and wigs. So, on one blistery Saturday morning I thought I'll write a blog, I'll learn with me, and I can remember the things that went well and not so well. And if there is anyone else out there thinking like me, maybe we can learn together.

Welcome, enjoy, sit back, lean in, comment, learn, teach, grow with me.