Until the next time

As you may (or may not) have noticed, I haven't written in a while. From Jamaica, to coming home and realising I had to move to launching Gem Stone Love, and trying to get to grips with what is and isn't happening in my day job - I just haven't had the time.

I have been keeping up on my hair regime and I'm still making things left right and centre - most recent addition being a pomade with beeswax.

But unfortunately I'm going to have to leave blogging alone for a little while :( :( :(

I'll still be around but it will be in full Gem Stone Love capacity - you can catch me at any of the places below explaining it all like my name is Clarissa or something.

I really appreciated everyone who read and Google+ posts and I'm hoping you'll stay in touch and follow me on my new journey. This blog is staying open as there may just be room for me to return later. But until the next time...

www.gemstonelove.co.uk
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Twitter @gemstonelondon
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Retract to expand

Feeling good with this latest realisation. As you know I embarked on a number of different projects after I got out of my funk at the beginning of the year. Enough projects to make sure I have no idea how to do them all and therefore stops me obsessing entirely about any single one.

Now it seems I have gotten to a relatively stable point where I can with good faith and no sense of remorse shelve some. I've put 3 of the original 8 projects on hold, swapped some and added others. I'm glad it all happened this way though. I very much believe that if I didn't have all of these ideas, they wouldn't have lead me to the other projects that would stick right now. I'm really grateful for them giving me a new perspective from where I stood, because all of these things didn't come into my head at once, it was drip drip drip. And I ran with all of them, what did I have to lose.

So now I'm left with the following that make up the happy empire

• Relaxed in London blog (all 3 pages)
• Writing the book - The book, the one people have been nudging me to write since I was 21
• Chartership - becoming a Chartered Project Manager, I shiver with the wonderfulness of it all
• Gem Stone Love - the baby project that some how took over my every waking thought - it's a good thing I have other things to do. But this will pun intended - be the gem in the empire
• Stakeholder Management - reading the book. Really interesting actually, you would imagine it to be as boring as dishwater but the writer has a lovely tone and lightness to it all thank goodness. This also counts towards my continual personal development hours for the chartership as well so win win.
• Volunteering with the Association for Project Management, will again help with the chartership, hopefully just surrounding myself in the community will help to inspire me and keep me going
• 'Flow' maintenance. Books / podcasts / audiobooks to help me on my way and keep me on track. The current 'Flow' is Abundance Now by Lisa Nichols. / Yoga mindfulness and comedy podcasts / Search inside yourself by Chade-Meng Tan audiobook.

And I still work 40 hours a week, with a minimum of 15 hours travelling time. I promise I am of sound mind and body, that's what the 'Flow' part is all about after all.  I also have to prepare for my 2 week holiday in July - it really isn't as far away as you might think, I got my injections done just last week, and now my beautiful friend whilst on medication offered to organise my 30th birthday celebration. Seeing as I'll actually be on holiday when the day comes.

I'm busy, but it feels so good. I got back to work this week after my week off feeling genuinely refreshed; I was working on the empire every day, every single day. It may not have been a full 8 hours chained to my laptop and a pack of wotsits. But I wasn't on holiday somewhere, I was working, on me and for me and it felt good, really really good. Especially when I compare it to the days of not so long ago where if I wasn't out with friends, I was watching tv or reading. None of those things are bad but I watched far too much tv for someone who had all of these dreams and wants. And I never went back to work feeling refreshed after the tv marathon, I'd just feel tired, and bored.

This week at work was so busy my line manager pulled me aside before I could get to my emails on Monday to warn me that my diary is likely to change. How sweet is that? and change it did, drastically and for the next 3 months, just like that. And with all of that, I was still pining after doing my empire work. Because it doesn't tire me, and weirdly having that not tire makes work not as tiring either. Something profound and psychological in there I'm sure.

It's not to say I don't do all of what people think of as fun anymore, I still watch tv, but maybe only 2 episodes a week (drastic for some people I'm aware) but I just really focused on the tv that actually gave me something and added to my life, and none of it is educational btw. I still read obviously, and I still see my friends. I even feel more flexible now in seeing my friends because I don't feel so exhausted after work in the week. There is time for everything, and really I should know, I'm inefficiency's arch nemesis after all.

Leave in conditioner - Peppermint oil, I love you long time

Sometimes I forget how much things used to cost me before I started making them.

The other day I got lazy-annoyed about having to make more body lotion, so I thought I'll just buy a natural lotion. To which I then looked online and saw the prices and then my memory came back - but that's another conversation, I'll be making more lotion in a few weeks time so I'll talk about that then.

The same does apply for my leave in conditioner though, I have fine hair, I have never been a fan of the thick leave ins that you're supposed to put in your hair every day, they just made my hair look limp.

Through a lot of experimentation - and I'm sure it says something about it in the Science of Black Hair book. I then came across this lovely beauty which I have been using in good and bad ways for years but I believe I have now got it right.

My leave in conditioner uses these

• Water
• Rosemary, Lavender, Peppermint Essential oil
• Glycerin
• JASON Aloe Vera conditioner
• Spray bottle with adjustable nozzle

I typically use about a tsp of JASON, 250ml water, small dollop of Glycerin, 3 Rosemary, 2 Lavender, 3 Peppermint. I make a new one every 2 weeks and sometimes add an extra drop or 2 of EO after the first week. I can use this every day/ night followed by some protein when needed and sealer. The trick is to learning the amount you need to use. Some people like to co-wash every night, I don't have time for that - enough water, is enough.

In my *not paying attention* days I used to assume that the preservatives in the conditioner would keep the water from going bad for weeks - months - my full 9 week term. This was disgusting, I know that now, it was the reason why I had an itchy scalp, actively putting bacteria on my head and wondering why... Now 2 weeks is just enough, and I can always switch it up at anytime without it really costing me anything, the most expensive thing in it is the Conditioner and I can live with that, I'm a geek (and proud) I worked out that this costs me roughly 43p a month.

Once I corrected the above, I experimented again with different EO's, to be honest Sandalwood and my hair/scalp don't mix, I have no idea why because it's supposed to be moisturising but, it makes my hair feel dry. And even though every mix I did included Rosemary, my scalp really missed the Peppermint. I stopped using the peppermint because everyone everywhere says you should use that for greasy hair, and mine isn't greasy. But you know what, I think it helps to balance out the oils in my hair. Especially as my sealer is a mixture of oils and butters, that's the last ingredient that means I or anyone else can touch my hair and not need to wash their hands afterward (that and Mango butter). That's very important to me.

I do need to get a spray bottle that I can see through though, I don't know why I thought it was clever to get a pretty metal one. smh

Happy Easter Sunday :)

Micro win

The ever lovely Lisa Nichols told me to celebrate Micro Wins.

I don't know Lisa, I've never met her, but I do adore her and wish I spent more time listening to and reading her sooner.

I'm currently reading or trying to read Abundance Now by Lisa Nichols, amongst the many other books I'm juggling. I say trying to read because at the end of virtually every third paragraph she asks you these ridiculously thought provoking questions that send my head on a world wind trying to answer there and then.

I have accepted that I will have to read the book more than once to get the full benefit out of it. I haven't even gotten to the bit in the book where she discusses micro wins, I've only heard her speak about them in interviews. I like them. It's very easy to look at your big goal and feel like the tiny steps you made today didn't do much to shift the mountain, but it's never true. I try to think of it like a dial on a clock, the angle of the hand movement that adjusts for 5 minutes is much wider and obvious at the top of the clock then it is at the centre, and the centre is where I am at any given time. It's all I can see right there and then but doesn't mean that the hand didn't just move 5 minutes, because it did. All because it's not obvious to me yet from the centre, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I had 2 Micro Wins today. The first one was a really good lunch with my Line Manager. I work at a fantastic company - I say that without being under a single feather of duress (no sarcasm). It's great and he's great, so we're chatting away and he asks me how I'm going to use my week off, I tell him I'm taking my second (and final) drivers test again and working on my personal business stuff like my writing and setting up the online business. There was no shock, no feeling threatened, no trying to talk me out of it, he just went on to talk about his nieces side businesses. And I'm sitting there thinking, I hadn't intended on bringing that up today, I was going to tell him that I had a business when I actually felt I had one. But there it is, out in the open and the ground didn't fall through, it didn't even murmur. And as I said in my well timed post yesterday - how many people said "are you allowed to do that and work for your company at the same time?" "don't you think they'll treat you differently, and not think you're invested?". Valid questions but A. I don't work for constantly paranoid people anymore, B. I rock my day job - I'm a Project Manager. I get things done morning, noon, and now night. If I ever felt that my personal business - the creating and functioning of it - ever interfered with my day job, I'd just move things around to make them integrate with my life better.

And I'm not in a rush for any of this, one of the biggest deals I made with myself when I decided to start doing all of these things (including this blog) was that I'd do it if it made me feel good, if it excited me, if I felt eager about it.

The second Win was I just bought my first stock for my first online business, I'll be setting up the prettiness (website, you tube, facebook page) once I actually receive said goods. All in good time.

Baggying for moisture

Baggying is something that I have seen on many a blog for years now, and yet for some reason I just never paid any attention to it. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure when it would be appropriate to do it. As with most new fantastic products, they're probably great but if you use it at the wrong time, when your hair isn't ready, then you're not going to get the right results.

Baggying is when you put a shower cap or sealed plastic bag over your freshly moisturised but unsealed hair in order to keep the moisture in. I think it goes a little deeper than that actually, or at least for me any way.

I used to use mane n tail detangler religiously. At first I used to put way too much on because I was impatient, I eventually realised by accident (distracting phone call) that when you put it on and leave it to work - not immediately trying to comb or finger comb your hair - then the hair is actually much more agreeable, I didn't have to fight with it nearly as much and didn't have to use as much detangler.

The same applies to my standard leave in (water and conditioner mix in spray bottle with essential oils). My night process was to spray some the hair and scalp - I don't oil my scalp - and then finger comb, apply hair oil sealer and style for bed. This works fine at the beginning of my stretch, I don't need as much leave in or sealer. But at the end of the stretch, it just doesn't work, leaving me frustrated and running my hands through my hair too quickly, pulling out hair's from the fragile demarcation line. So I end up using more and more leave in, leaving me with wet hair, and then it's so wet you feel like it needs to dry a little before putting the oil on. As a night time routine, this gets really annoying as my hair is at this stage for about a month.

With baggying however I've found that giving my roots, scalp, and ends a nice light spray when I come home in the evening, putting the shower cap on while I cook, read, meditate; by the time it's time for my night time routine, you can feel the moisture is on the inside of the hair rather than just sitting on the outside. My tight and rough roots are flexible without feeling weak like that over moisturised feeling.

I don't have a lot of time in the evenings as I work pretty far away from home so the shower cap is only on for just under 2 hours. Even when I had a couple of evenings out this week, I still got the benefit from only keeping it on for 30 minutes while I showered and got ready for bed.
I am also using a small amount of protein every other night though - during the sealing process, I believe that keeps the balance.

Some people manage to baggy overnight, I have no idea how, after the 90 minute mark my scalp screams give me air! But if it works then it works, it's probably a little different if you have a lot of natural hair. I've also seen some worries that it would cause the hair to smell, I haven't had experience of that personally, smell as far as I know is caused by bacteria, the essential oils in my leave in and sealer put a stop to that pretty darn quick.

I'm really looking forward to seeing the growth in a couple of weeks when I relax again. I haven't worn my hair down once since February, but my friend had commented that it looked like it had grown. It probably just looked healthier / thicker as result of all the new growth and moisture that's in side the hair, but I do believe/hope that I have retained more hair this stretch. I won't be trimming again until the early Autumn. I went from 1 trim a year to 2 trims for the past 2 years and I really think that's part of the reason why I haven't seen much improvement, about an inch left me each time. I hardly ever have split ends but my hair does grow at different speeds all over my head so that would be the reason why it was levelled out quite so severely.

Pretty big breakthrough for me, it might have seemed obvious but sometimes you have to learn for yourself.

Mouthwash - dentist approved

I briefly had a stint at making my own toothpaste, used different mixes for about 3 month's and then got randomly paranoid about yellow teeth. I didn't have yellow teeth. But I was spiralling out so I decided to stop making it and go back to my colgate total toothpaste.

I did however miss the exceptionally clean filling I got from using my bicarb based toothpaste. Especially my tongue, without getting too delicate, I want it looking healthy and pink, not like I just finished drinking milk.

I always felt normal mouthwash was overkill and unnecessarily expensive. So after a few versions, I finally got my diy moutwash perfect. It lasts for about a week, but it's so easy to make I could do it everyday. Takes less than 5 minutes.

Equipment

• Sealable bottle roughly 200ml
• Distilled / filtered water
• Bicarbonate soda
• Measuring spoon
• Cinnamon Essential oil
• Clove Essential oil
• Peppermint Essential oil
• Spearmint Essential oil

Method

1. Half fill the bottle with water
2. Take a measured teaspoon and fill it with Bicarb to 4/5'ths (or the whole hog)
3. Put 1 drop of Cinnamon, 2 drop of Clove, 2 drops of Peppermint, 2 drops of Spearmint Essential oil in
4. Close the cap and shake until the Bicarb has dissolved.
5. Shake before use

This is great for me. I learnt the hard way not to put too much Cinnamon in, that stuff is wicked strong. It's also great for sensitive teeth and any inside mouth issues because of the Clove oil primarily.

This is definitely a staple for me. At my last check up at the dentist I told her what I was using and she said that sounds fine because the Bicarb is an alkaline and Clove is so good for so many things like throat infections. She said a lot of people who start out making their own mouthwash use fruit juice for some reason and she has to tell them to stop immediately. Why would you start with juice I don't know.