Holistic living

Wow. How many times do I have to learn? Forever I think is the right number.

I know that when your mind is right your life is right. I know that the key to everything, the beginning of everything is mindset, mindfulness, mind body and spirit.

I know this. Not just because I have read it, but because I have lived it. When I am aligned, there is no feeling like it, it feels like as if people are purposefully going out of their way to please me. Like I am the luckiest person in the world. I'm not messing around, that is what it feels like, I feel light and golden, and full and flowing. The words just aren't good enough.

Unfortunately, when I'm not aligned, when I haven't done the necessary, which most feel is the nice to have, I am so out of whack. I ache, I'm confused, I don't get enough sleep or good quality sleep, I'm unnecessarily bitchy, I itch, I literally itch when I'm tired or irritated, always have.

Knowing what I know, how do I forget this? Because it's easy to, most of the people in the world, the country, the city, don't live like that. I am the weird one for living like I do, for thinking like I do, I am unusual - but I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who understands the benefits and necessity of living holistically, but finding those people isn't as easy as it sounds. This work, is hard to do on it's own, and you want help and you want support but you know want - you can't have someone wake up with you every day and force you to meditate and do yoga, you have to do it off of your own back.

You have to rewire your brain that is lazy and likes the patterns that it has set over years, and that is exactly the same as everyone else's. you have to change the programming yourself to get the different results. It is not easy but it's worth it, you can't fight for it either though - what I think it's about is surrendering to that truth, relaxing into a different way of living. It's not laziness, but it is letting go. It's not non activity - it's about directed and productive activity. Even play time is productive, you need to play in order to help reset your brain and release some good chemical's it's all about balance and harmony, and whatever that means to you is what it means to you. No one else is living your life for you, they can't tell you what good should look like.

I spoke to my friend in Australia today, I had presumed it would be a 1 hour video call. 3 and a bit hours later... Thank you honey, I missed you. It was good to talk and just be entirely honest about what's whirling around my mind with someone knowing that even though you don't agree on everything, she understands the position I am coming from and will just let me speak and vice versa.

Same goes with this open journal you lovely people are reading. I started this because I didn't feel like I could speak openly about what was in my mind. And funnily enough, things have been harder than usual recently because I haven't been writing on here, I didn't get things off of my mind.

I have been writing, been preparing my blogs for Gem Stone Love, which is launching on 17th July. Time has not been wasted, but I haven't been as balanced as I know I could have been.

Thank you friends beyond the binary.

Neem oil and eczema

So I have eczema, and for the last 2 years or so I've been working my way through how to heal it naturally. I had some other dermatitis infection on my ankles as well, went to the doctor and true to form they said just use Hydrocortisone cream but I have to use it for the full 7 days.

I've never used it for the full 7 days because after day 2 it starts to burn, I could feel the sting was not a 'healing stinging sensation' but a chemical burning sensation. But I was really bothered by all the fuss down by my ankles so I said fine I'll just stick it out and use it for the full time. I got to 5 days and my skin was officially burnt. It looked horrible like I survived a fire.

I had no idea how to deal with this and my instant reaction was to scrub it away, which of course then set off a chain reaction of displaying bare sensitive skin, which still itched, and I scratched, which caused a further infection and spread.

I am not comfortable sharing this information. I'm not a child, I know I should know better. But I panicked and was, if I'm honest more concerned about how it looked rather than how to heal it. Which meant I treated it enough to not look messed up if I was going out, but didn't focus on the healing it for good so that it doesn't permanently scar my skin. This society and the need to look good will mess up your priorities like no ones business.

My ankle status at the moment is mostly hyperpigmentation which is fine. One patch of wet eczema with two smaller patches on both ankles. One patch of dry eczema on the other ankle which is so close to healed but likes to remind me it's there every now and again. I am healing the wet eczema with neem oil after multiple attempts and impatience at everything else. I got so frustrated and was researching online about what to buy to fix it already! And then I just heard the little more calmer me say "you already have everything you need" and then I remembered Neem. Neem oil is what I put into my water mix creams to ward off bacteria, and I only use the smallest amount because that stuff is strong and smells wicked (the original meaning of the word, not the cool version).

So I mixed up some neem with Jojoba and resisted the temptation to top it up with an essential oil. And you know what, it's only been a couple of days but I can really see/feel that it's doing the deep healing work. Yes my ankle looks like a right state, and I will be hiding it away other than when I'm indoors, but I swear I'm looking at it now and I know it's doing the work that needs to be done. It will take time and there will be hyperpigmentation, but I've already got my hyperpigmentation oil worked out which is as we speak happily and healthily getting rid of my older scars.

I don't think I ever really took eczema seriously, I only developed it about 6 years ago when I was going through a ridiculously stressful time at my old job (it was just one of other stress induced conditions). My niece has eczema quite thoroughly and has done since birth, her mum has done all the research about the foods to cut out and what causes it, I just never did that. Whilst it was brought on by stress, I am a person with allergies and probably should have just acknowledged it for what it was sooner rather than just pretending it will go away and never come back. This like with everything else, I need to find a balance with.

Wish I had just put my health before my looks sooner. Check out http://www.flawlessprogram.com/how-to-get-rid-of-weeping-eczema/ was really helpful to me.

Fluffy hair

As with all knowings in life, your hair will whisper to you, then it will nudge you, then it will hold you by the face and shout at you.

So I've been busy, thus the radio silence, I really hadn't realised it had been so long since I'd written.

I haven't worn my hair straight down since maybe November time, due to our delightfully ever-changing weather, it's just 2 flat twists, and undo it and put a grip in it in the morning. I'm 7 weeks post now so it is more like 3 big canerows and undo it with a grip in the morning.

But the fluffiness! In my busy-ness I just couldn't get why even though my hair was well moisturised and oiled, it still came out fluffy in the morning making the curls look very undefined and undignified too while I'm at it. I know how I wish to present myself and quite frankly I left the flat looking frazzled in the morning.

So you know, if you've done moisture and there's no change then do protein - I did protein spray's and... nothing, or very little movement. It took maybe 2 weeks for me to realise I hadn't done a deep protein treatment - which with the Jason thin to thick on my hair is about 10 minutes MAXIMUM.

So I mixed it in with my Jason Aloe Vera conditioner in my co-wash this week after netball, and that really did the trick. But why did it take me so long to realise what was up with my hair?

Because I was busy, and getting lost in busy-ness not to be confused with business. When I stray from my routine, when I get wrapped up in social media and news because of the election. My mind loses it's usual ability to process the simple things.

The routine that I have that works isn't even that hardcore regimented, there's lots of room for flexibility but as with all aspects of life, you have to acknowledge the addictions you have and how much control they have over you, even down to the basic things like taking care of your hair. It may not seem like a straight swap "If I watch another hour of tv I won't do my hair tonight" but seriously I know this and I'm re-teaching myself everyday. Too much of some of the unnecessary stuff just teaches your mind how to not think. Eventually you just won't think about you at all.