Late off the mark - Relaxing my own hair

It was at our dinner before going to see Hidden Figures, that it dawned on me. Or rather was obviously stated to me. I had a really busy week of client meetings and I wasn't quite sure how I was going to make it to the hairdressers. I stretch for 9 weeks and at this point I was at 8 weeks - just on the fringe of madness. I told my friend this and she replied shocked "I'm surprised you don't relax it yourself" I said "I'm just lazy I suppose". That was my instant reply but it wasn't actually true, I just had never thought about it. I've been mixing my own leave in conditioner and making from scratch my own hair oil for just over 3 years - and had never not once thought "shouldn't I just relax it myself?"

So last Thursday I did just that, I made the trip to the hair shop and the chemist to by Crème of Nature Argan Oil Relaxer - Regular, and a box of non powder latex gloves. As I was working from home that day, I took my hair out of it's 1 remaining hair do at about 3pm (1 big sweeping canerow on the right and combed down on the left, small neat bun at the back.) I got started as soon as the clock struck 5:30. And then...

1. I combed out the hair - I had to, my hair is 4B tight corkscrew curls and it's fine.
2. Applied Cantu Shea Leave in Repair Cream to my scalp - I bought a fresh tub right before my natural hair care kick started
3. Parted hair in 4 with the grips and the protected the pre relaxed hair with Extra Virgin Olive Oil
4. Applied some Vaseline all the way around my hair line
5. Set to working the relaxer
6. I did go over it again with the smoothing step
7. Relaxer from first application to wash out was 35 minutes - SHOCK HORROR. My hair doesn't take quickly, never has, also because I oil my scalp it gets on the new growth and slows everything right down.
8. I rinsed twice in luke warm water only
9. Put a protein treatment in for 10 minutes (can't remember which one and I threw the bottle away because it was finished)
10. Shampoo'd with the neutraliser twice, then on the third time let it sit on the hair for about 5 minutes
11. Rinsed the shampoo out and then did a Apple Cider Vinegar rinse - only a slight sting
12. Put the conditioner that came in the box in
13. Put my heated cap on for about 45 minutes - turns out I didn't need it on for that long, 30 will do
14. Made and ate my dinner

My scalp didn't burn, I have no sores, and in fact I could / should have left it in for another 5 minutes because I didn't apply it fast enough, one corner of my hard is marginally underdone. I'd say it's mostly relaxed to 85% rather than the squeaky bone straight that my hairdresser does. I liked bone straight, I thought that was how it was supposed to feel. I thought it was normal that it would take 2 weeks after my relaxer for my hair to feel like my hair again. I don't know if that's true now.

I t-shirt dried my hair, put some Chi protein leave in on it and put my diy hair oil on, wrapped my hair with a satin scarf (with a cotton scarf on top of that - it's cold and my hair doesn't always dry itself by the morning if I don't) and went to bed.

In the morning I was very pleasantly surprised, my hair felt... good. It never felt good after a relaxer. Straight yes, slick yes, shiny sometimes. But not good, it always felt delicate both hair and scalp.

Nearly a week on I haven't washed it yet - I usually wash and treat on Sunday and co wash after Netball on Wednesday. And after a relaxer which is usually mid week, I actively want to co wash with a treatment on the Sunday. I decided to leave it this time as I didn't really have an urge to, the hair felt fine, and it was only my ingredients in it so there was no build up.

So this is the beginning of this journey, I will be relaxing myself again, as the feeling of my hair is very reminiscent of when I first switched to natural products, just that good solid (for hair anyway) feeling. I'll be co washing it with JASON Aloe Vera conditioner tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Introduction

Having undergone a dramatic "only natural products kick" 3 years ago, I think I've now gotten to the point where my hair is really decently healthy. It has grown during that time but mostly the last 3 years have been a process of growing out the really bad hair. Now it's time for the real journey.

I've been looking at blog's on and off and doing lots of my own study, but recently hair care / growth has not been a priority. I don't think I gave up as such, it was just a lonely place really especially as very few people I know are as into hair as I am, much less diy hair, and then the much much less to non existent - not a weave / wig wearer.

Just to make the point up front, I have nothing against wig's or weaves. Most of them look absolutely stunning, and then there's the obvious fact that tucking your hair away in those long winter months will really help. I just don't like them on myself. I used to wear a lot of clip in ponytails back in the day, which then of course ate at my hair line something horrid. But I just can't get over the idea of A, not being able to feel my own hair everyday or B, wearing a wig knowing that if the wind blows I'll be at best self conscious.

So what's a girl to do? This year was the only of the 3 years that I didn't see the noticeable hair growth I was expecting on after trim day (Christmas time - once a year because of an unintellectual phobia). Now in February I realised that that part of the journey was over, and actually yes, this length is nice and manageable (framing the face) but actually, I want long hair, I've always wanted long hair. Not crazy long just a decent bra strap length.

But how do I do it? Who do I talk to about it?

I again looked on line and found a few blogs or chat rooms last updated in 2008, all American so using primarily American products and - things are different in different weather. I have a good hair dresser who is a good friend but she is much more fond of weaves and wigs. So, on one blistery Saturday morning I thought I'll write a blog, I'll learn with me, and I can remember the things that went well and not so well. And if there is anyone else out there thinking like me, maybe we can learn together.

Welcome, enjoy, sit back, lean in, comment, learn, teach, grow with me.